Matches are made in Heaven but Weddings are made on earth

This month it’s all about rings; who’s wearing them, who’s taking them off, who’s biting the finger that wears them, who’s denying wearing them and who’s flashing their ring like its going out of fashion.


It all began with Perth striker Damian Mori’s brush with the rules at a football match between his team, Perth Glory and Melbourne Victory. In a testosterone charged atmosphere the referee pointed to Mori’s ring and demanded he removed it. Rules laid down by FIFA state no jewellery may be worn on the pitch. This was all very well but poor Mori could not remove the ring despite desperate measures by sideline players and the coach. In the end, the team played a man short and still won but Mori had his ring cut off in time for the next match. Funnily enough there were no reports on how his wife was taking it!


From one man who couldn’t wait to get it off, to another who couldn’t wait to flaunt it. Actor Charlie Sheen appeared recently on Scottish television with Craig Ferguson on his Late Late show. Between promoting his latest television series he took great pains to flash the ring. Sheen and his actress wife Denise Richards had separated in March but had since undergone counselling which resulted in a reconciliation and a second daughter to the couple.


Even Brad Pitt has been seen sporting a thick gold wedding. However, the veracity of the report which was carried by a UK tabloid with pictures of the secret wedding was slightly discredited when Pitt’s publicist pointed out the so called wedding shots had been lifted from their recent film, Mr and Mrs Smith. In the interest of reporting the full story, the scoop claimed that the couple had exchanged vows in a private Buddhist ceremony. A warning for the lovely Angela Jolie – remember what happened to Jerry Hall. For those of you who don’t, Mike Jagger and Jerry Hall married in a Buddhist ceremony and when they separated years later, Jagger’s lawyers tried, unsuccessfully, to argue that it wasn’t a legally binding ceremony.


Finally, to the danger to digits at wedding ceremonies. A little hamlet in Shiawassee County in the US reported a fracas at a wedding where a man’s finger was severed during a fight in the carpark outside Perry Township Hall. While this story is mildly amusing, though not of course to the people involved, a similar incident happened two years ago when an out of control guest managed to bit part of another guest’s finger off, bit the groom’s thumb and even knock the groom’s mother over. While the happy, if digitally challenged couple, took off for their honeymoon, the guest instead was given four year’s bed and board courtesy of the State.